The mess I created: I was over 30k in debt… What is your money story?

In my last blog post I shared the story how I went from wanting it all to becoming a minimalist. My reality in the past was to fill the emptiness inside of me with all this “outside stuff”. I was good at ignoring what was going on inside of me.

Maybe you can relate. If you do, you’re not alone. It’s scary how many people deal with this and are facing financial issues because of the attachment to materialistic things, anxious to speak and face their truth (in a positive way). After dark comes light, right?

Today I know that “Materialistic things are the bandaid and makeup of unhappiness for 95% of people. It just hides actual pain” #garyveequotes

…and so did I. For a very long time I told myself:

⇢ I am what I have.

⇢ I am what I do.

⇢ I am what other people say about me.

This story ends with: falling into debt in my mid-twenties.

Living from paycheck to paycheck, being caught up in this negative money story and telling myself that » my past determines my future «

True or false?

Living in a society that benefits from doubting ourselves isn’t easy. It’s a toxic game we’re all playing.

I was full of negative thoughts and disbelief coming from the time and moments of lack. That’s how I grew up. I felt like not being good enough the way I am, full of self-doubt.

The way out was upgrading my level of happiness with the consumption of things I didn’t truly need with money I didn’t have. Most positive thing about this: We’re in this together. Although it’s a sad story.

I didn’t care about the consequences… those short moments feeling like ecstasy were more important than the free-fall afterward.

Still, feeling me?

It was more important keeping a facade alive than being true to myself. At some point in my life, I started to question my status quo – FINALLY.

I realized that my inside didn’t match my outside world. Inside I was broke, outside it looked like a pretty good life… nice apartment, fancy car, decent salary. Of course it’s been great, I was driving my dream car with 25, a BMW 180 Cabrio in cashmere silver. Not bad, right? But the price I paid, uhhh. Not in terms of money!!! Is this truly what life is about? NO!

My whole life felt like a lie, a fraud. I defined myself by the things I was surrounded with. Led by the emptiness inside me hoping for something on the outside to fill that gap! Even worse, my mood, feeling and emotions were led by the balance on my bank account. I only felt worthy when I had enough money on my bank account.

No one ever taught me how to deal with money, I come from a place of lack. That’s what I thought.

Today, I say: Abundance is everywhere. It’s up to you if you’re willing to see it  and allow it to come to your life.

Easier said than done, it takes lots of inner work and self-mastery to get to a point where you can literally attract everything you want into your life. But it’s possible. I will share in another blog how I truly started to believe in the law of attraction, law of vibration and how it worked out for me.

But back to the money story. You have to learn what relationship you have with money because money is energy. If you create negative emotions around money, it will never come to you.

It’s like with human connections. If you reflect on someone, that you don’t like that person, this person will probably get out of your way. Same story with money.

Playing this money and the material thing is a toxic game. DECIDE to let go of it. Decide for money to be your friend and instead of thinking about how it can come to you, allow it to come to you.

I get the theory about this, but until today I’m still reprogramming my money mindset. Don’t forget that you’re trying to change a program in your mind that runs for a very long time.

To break the pattern of an over 30 year old habit won’t happen within one day. But it can happen in a short period of time if you stay consistent. Decide to make your money story a money LOVE story 🙂

Even if you don’t have a lot of money at the moment. Love it, be grateful, appreciate it and believe that there’s more on it’s way to you. Don’t get stuck on the HOW! Huge thing!

We often want to master the whole thing and know exactly how it all will work out. That’s the ego.

Let go of that. Let life be magical and surprise you.

Do you and what you love. Spread good vibes and even greater vibes will come back to you.

Watch your vibes!

I learned that everyone can rewrite their (money) stories.

Going from ‘rags to riches’ stories are no fake. It’s possible. I’m not rich yet, but I’ll let you know when I get there 😉 And let me highlight something related to money, wanting more AND being a minimalist.

For me being a minimalist doesn’t mean not wanting anything, not having anything at all or not liking luxury. I LOVE everything that this beautiful world has to offer. Me being a creative mind and have an eye for beautiful aesthetic things. And yes, I want money, a lot.

The difference between then and now: I don’t need to own all of it. I’m fine with having access to things. For example: I can spend a day on a boat, but I don’t need to own the boat. I can rent a fancy car, but I don’t need to own it.

When it comes to owning things, I’m fine with whatever I have, but knowing I could have it all. But I’m not defining myself anymore by what I have or owe.

Does that make sense?

And having MORE money means having the tool and energy to create and get access to those things. But same here. It doesn’t define me.

It’s the result of what I give to the world, what I worked for. It’s not the goal.

Plan for results, contribute to this world with something that comes from your heart and has the right and good vibes, but let the goals be far greater than something material or a thing.

My goal is freedom. Having more money is a result of the positive energy I put into the world and what I get rewarded for.

I think we all screwed up at some point in terms of money. The most successful entrepreneurs did. So many have been in debt. And out of their mess, they created the most beautiful and inspiring stories.

This is where I see myself. All these setbacks make me grow. They do the same with you!

Anyone can turn their life around and create what you are longing for!

Believe that you can.

Rewriting my money story was another huge thing when I moved back in with my mom in my early thirties. I will share more how I turned my story from living in my mom’s basement in Germany to moving to Los Angeles in less than 12 months with a LOW BUDGET!!!

With love, 
S